I have to admit that it’s definitely a relief to see director Robert Rodriguez return from his inexplicable deviation into the Spy Kids fiasco, it’s still true that he hasn’t made anything impressive since From Dusk Til Dawn, the second half of which was pretty terrible anyway. Once Upon A Time in Mexico was a total disaster in my opinion, and Sin City was just a little too visceral for me. This Grindhouse feature seems to be Rodriguez almost transparently pandering to his original fans, as though trying to prove to them that he can still do what he does best. Or at least promise that he won’t make any more ridiculous children’s movies.
Desperado, believe it or not, is one of my favorites of Rodiguez’s films, along with El Mariachi, Four Rooms, and the first hour or so of From Dusk Til Dawn. Many of his films are criticized for various reasons, I can’t think of any of them that at least one or two of my close friends absolutely hated (especially Four Rooms, which I loved, except for the witch story, which was just goofy and boring).
Now along comes Planet Terror, and I find myself on the other side of the aisle. It is in true Rodriguez style, with extreme, over-the-top action, way too much blood and goofball heroics. Your typical “trash” cinema. Consider, for example, that the movie stars Rose McGowan, no stranger to trashy cinema, and she has a machine gun that doubles as a prosthetic leg. If, after knowing that, you are not sure whether this is the type of movie for you, then you’re best off avoiding it. If it sounds like fun, have a ball.
Although I should warn you, it sounded like fun to me, and it wasn’t. I’ve said before that I’m beginning to lose my taste for some of the things not uncommon to horror films, like rape scenes and beheading scenes, but I still watch them. There are no rapes or be-headings in Planet Terror, but there is plenty of ghastly gore (not so bad), some pretty gory and grimy sets (also not so bad), some steamy cripple sex (pretty bad), and a guy who collects testicles (I’m sorry, but there is no need for something like this in any movie. Ever).
Then again, we must not forget that the movie is shooting for exactly this kind of bizarre extremism. When zombies chew off Cherry’s (McGowan) leg, her boyfriend casually tells her there’s no use crying about it and expertly attaches the M16 to her severed thigh and she realizes that she’s now a stronger person.
It reminds me of Rob Zombie’s House of 1000 Corpses, which was so clearly a throwback to a time when they were making real horror films, not this cheesy garbage they make today, which look more like date movies for high school boys who want their date to cling to their arm. Take a girl to see House of 1000 Corpses and there’s no way you’re going to get a kiss at the end of the night (I had a similar experience when I took a girl to see Fight Club, so I guess I shouldn’t talk), and Planet Terror has that same feel.
But the difference is that Zombie’s film was the first true horror film that had been released in years, while Planet Terror is more like the first genuine horror joke that has been released in years, and it’s only saving grace is that it knows it’s a joke and flaunts it. It comes as an homage to the time in the 70s and 80s when horror movies were unapologetic and dirty and didn’t seem to care one way or the other about achieving a broad audience (note: the “broad audience” is the smoking gun that has murdered modern horror films). The irony is that Rodriguez spent millions recreating that image that the old filmmakers had as long as they spent as little as possible on the productions.
My Score! - 52%
Plot and Storyline - 56%
Structure - 52%
Engagement - 49%
Plausibility - 51%
Acting and Performances - 52%
52%
This was not as good as I expected but still better than Death Proof.
