Black Christmas (2006)

In this mid 2000’s remake of Bob Clark’s classic Black Christmas, we get an in depth look at Billy and Agnes and follow their murderous holiday massacre at a sorority house.

The film opens with a sorority sister upstairs at the house wrapping presents. In a homage to the original film, she is murdered with a plastic bag over her face by an unseen assailant. We then learn that Billy Linz is locked away in a mental institution for murders he committed in the sorority house years prior, before it was owned by the local university. The backstory told is that in the 70’s, his mother was a murderous abusive woman who sexually assaults him leading to her getting pregnant with his child, Agnes.

Billy takes revenge on her by killing her and also taking Agnes’ eye. Fast forward to present time which we see Billy escaping the psych ward and heads to the sorority house. Agnes is already in the attic and the two reunite to murder the house filled with sorority sisters. With an intense snowstorm brewing, and roads closed, the murderers start knocking people off one by one. It’ll be up to the remaining ladies to bring an end to their reign of holiday terror.

This version of Black Christmas uses a ton of comedic dialogue in the script, and a lot of it works! The sorority girls are constantly snarking at each other or making some sort of quick-witted quip about something. The gore is intense, in almost an extremely unpleasant way to sit through. There is mostly eye gouging and eye stabbing death scenes, which make me cringe. The original didn’t rely on blood at all to tell an effective creepy story, and this one didn’t either in my opinion.

Black Christmas gives us a mid 2000’s ensemble cast, with high end stars at the time like Katie Cassidy, Mary Winstead, and Lacey Chabert. The acting was very good and a main reason why I enjoyed the movie. A standout was Crystal Lowe who was tasked with pretty much taking over the constantly drunk Barb character played by Margot Kidder in the original movie. Andrea Martin is back as well, this time playing the house mother.

Her version of Mrs. Mack isn’t as intoxicated or crude, but necessary, nonetheless. It was nice to see her again. I give this remake a lot of credit because of how hard it tries. Glen Morgan wanted to try and stick to some themes and iconic moments done by Clark in the 1974 entry. Yes, it wasn’t nearly as effective, but the try is there. This is why I prefer this remake to the latest 2019 instalment which is just name only.

This remake isn’t nearly as tense or terrifying as the 1974 masterpiece. Instead of shadows and a dramatic musical score, we get a ton of gore and the same nutcracker song playing in the background. Overall, I have to say I enjoy this movie and it’s a traditional watch around the holidays. It’s humorous at times with characters that are well written for and does try and answer some questions from the original movie, continuing with the Billy/Agnes storyline.